How Emotional Intelligence can help small business owners
Diana Muresan
Emotional intelligence is that magical “something” that helps us recognize and control emotions in ourselves and others. As it guides people’s thinking and actions, it is fundamental to know our emotions and how we react in different situations for controlling them better. How? Right here’s the answer: by training our brain and developing our emotional intelligence skills. As a hairstylist, nail artist, pet groomer, therapist, personal trainer, or barber, you work with different kinds of people every day, and for keeping them close, you have to know a little bit how to talk to each of them according to their mood or their personality. Sometimes, you may not have enough patience to explain everything. You may have a tough day, or your personality simply doesn’t fit your client’s personality. This being said, it is obvious that you need to train your brain and take care of how you react in this kind of situation.
Some people have a high IQ (intelligence level- the ability to learn with which we are born) but low EQ (emotional intelligence- which we have to develop on our own). Just think about Sigmund Freud, the well-known Austrian neurologist who was considered a genius in the psychoanalysis field, but was a drug-addict. He simply couldn’t control his emotions. Other people have incredibly high EQ but low IQ—like people living in the less developed areas who didn’t have the chance to go to school and develop their intellect, but some of them are very talented and they know how to improve their talents and how to benefit from them on their own.
Emotional intelligence is made up of four core skills divided into personal and social competencies: Self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management. If the self and the social awareness are based on a more theoretic basis, aiming to recognize our own and other people’s feelings, the self and social management are based on a practical basis, teaching us how to put in practice and how to deal with people after we’ve learned how to recognize feelings and emotions.
SASHET Feelings
Emotions are mental states that arise spontaneously. They are volatile, and we can experience a mix of emotions at any one time. Everything we do, or we say, is guided by emotion. For that, we have to know exactly what those feelings are, how to recognize them, and what effect they have on us and others. This fact is called self-awareness. Below, you can find the SASHET emotions list:
- Scared: tense, nervous, anxious, frightened, panic-stricken, terrified;
- Angry: miffed, irritated, upset, mad, furious;
- Sad: down, blue, grieved, dejected, depressed, heartbroken;
- Happy: pleased, optimistic, satisfied, complete, glad, contented, fulfilled;
- Excited: nervous, bouncy, aroused, energetic, ecstatic;
- Tender: soft, kind, sympathetic, warm-hearted, loving, intimate.
All those emotions are followed by physical reactions that show up instinctively. For example, if you are sad, your muscles are tensioned, you have moist eyes, you may cry, or you’re feeling cold. If you feel scared, your heart beats faster, you take short breaths, or you’re sweating. Generally, all emotions are followed by a faster heartbeat, but we can differentiate them by the other sensations we have.
It is said that to read someone’s mind, you have to look into their eyes. The face expresses best someone’s feelings. Here you have the facial expressions for the SASHET feelings:
- Sad: mouth corners turned down, inner brows up and together, eyes slightly closed;
- Angry: teeth clenched, lips narrowed, eyes wide, nose flared;
- Scared: mouth contorted or frowning, eyes open, brows tight and raised;
- Happy: smiling, rounded cheeks, crow’s feet at corners of eyes;
- Excited: smiling widely, eyes open, eyebrows raised, mouth open;
- Tender: mouth smiling lightly, eyes open and moist.
Why develop your EQ level?
Did you know that the EQ level has an impact on your professional success? Maybe not, but I assure you that it has! There’s a powerful way to focus on something you desire and to obtain that thing. A recent study realized by TalentSmart shows that Emotional Intelligence is the strongest predictor of performance at the workplace, explaining that the EQ level is responsible for 58% of people’s job performance. They tested emotional intelligence alongside 33 other important skills, but EQ has success in all types of jobs.
Therefore, there’s a link between emotional intelligence and earnings, and these findings hold for people in all industries, at all levels, all over the world.
“75% of careers are derailed for reasons related to emotional competencies, including the inability to handle interpersonal problems, unsatisfactory team leadership during times of difficulty or conflict; or inability to adapt to change or elicit trust.” -Center for Creative Leadership
How can it help?
Most of us are vulnerable to the moods and attitudes of others. Professionals and small business owners need to be great communicators, as a big part of their job involves communicating with their clients and their team members. Therefore, there are some reasons for which Emotional Intelligence skills are beneficial to everyone:
EI helps to develop relationships
In this case, empathy is the key to success. The main condition for developing and maintaining long-term interpersonal relationships is a high level of empathy. It gives us the ability to recognize how and why people feel and behave in a certain way. When we empathize with those around us, we develop deeper, constructive, and intimate relationships. Human beings are social creatures, and we can’t live in total isolation, without communicating with others. Therefore, if we want to reach success in business, it is fundamental to know some tips and to develop our social side.
Anticipate and avoid breakdown
Developing emotional intelligence skills improves our experiences, and gives us a better understanding of ourselves and the people we get in contact with. Understanding how we feel and the reasons behind these feelings is probably the most important aspect of an emotionally efficient life. Take it easy, have compassion with yourself, learn something new that could be beneficial for your mind’s health, and meditate on it. Stay focused and avoid always being multitasking. Find your work-lifee balance. We all need a break at a certain moment, don’t you think?
Deal with difficult people
We can imagine our interpersonal relationships as a stage for developing our emotional intelligence. The way we know how to talk to people makes them want to come back to us as soon as possible or, on the contrary, to avoid us. The quality of interpersonal relationships determines the social and emotional climate both within the family and at the workplace. I think we all came into contact with difficult clients at least once, right? Most often, they have this behavior because they are unhappy, have a personal issue, or suffer a mental breakdown. In these situations, it is best to exercise your calm, listen to them, and offer them a solution in a calm tone. There are moments when you won’t be able to fix an issue like that. This can be heartbreaking (especially if it’s your first contact with that client), but if you keep your dealings professional, you’ll come out stronger and smarter.
Communicate more effectively
After you’ve developed self-awareness, what do you feel and why you act in a certain way at a certain moment, it is fundamental to focus on the social awareness for understanding also the feelings and behaviors of others. All the things that we know and all the skills we have are attained by communicating with others, so it’s very important to share information and knowledge professionally.
Create a positive work environment
A professional’s motivation to work is influenced by his or her environment. Creating a positive work environment will generate far better results for your team members, clients, and your business. The quality of an individual’s life is influenced by his or her ability to tolerate stress. Living in a constantly stressful environment has a negative impact on personal efficiency, so it is very important to create a positive workspace.
Last but not least…
I guess this pandemic is the ideal period for you to learn more about emotional intelligence and improve your skills. After you’re back to work with some fresh information about people’s feelings and behavior, you’ll be able to communicate better than never with those around you and, why not, gain some new clients. Live wisely every free moment you have during this period and improve everything about you, psychically and physically.
Regarding the extra busy period after the pandemic, when everyone will be out there looking for each of your services, I recommend you to download Goldie if you haven’t done it yet. Our appointment scheduling app has the magical power to improve your work, make you look more professional, and gain more time. As Marta Summer, a lash artist that’s been using Goldie, says – “Customers never forget appointments anymore. It saves their time and my money.”
“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures of emotion.” -Dale Carnegie